Why So Many Leaders Fail and End Up Losing Everything

Every couple of months we hear of a “famous” person in our society, niche or circle of influence who got into a tight spot with the law, their community or their marriage.

When we watch the news or read the posts about such situations, we are deeply saddened because in a way we are looking to these leaders to set the example of “good citizenship” in our community and our country.

The question that always remains in our mind is… “What happened to _____? He/She was a great leader.”

Unfortunately, the available evidence in each situation leads us to believe that these leaders were not ready for the growth they experienced and ultimately lacked the character to endure the successthey were probably launched into leadership before their time.

The character qualities that prove TRUE leadership start at home. #family #leadership #character

Shirley Solis, Tweet This

I’ve seen it happen many times where church elders or corporate managers encourage their people to take leadership roles to help them “grow.” Although this may be a good strategy in the short term, in the long term it proves to be fatal to the organization, to the leader and to the leader’s family. Clearly, it takes great responsibility to lead an organization, a business or a government institution and few people have done the work that it takes to get them there and keep them there.

The character qualities required to succeed in business could be developed amongst peers and with co-workers, but the character qualities that prove TRUE leadership start at home.

It is in those sleepless nights, when a child is teething or has fever, that a parent proves his/her selflessness. It is in the financial challenges of keeping a home, that a marriage proves good stewardship and diligence. It is in the intimacy of marriage that a man or woman proves loyalty, even when an attractive person of the opposite sex crosses his/her path. In other words, the family is the first and perfect platform to develop character and grow a strong leader.

Society’s attempt to grow leaders in the workforce or ministry only leads to premature leadership and success. Unfortunately, this imaginary fame ends too soon when these leaders lose their family and the professional success they sought at all cost. These leaders not only find themselves divorced, destroying the life of their spouse and their children, but they also diminish their self confidence as future leaders by adding guilt and shame to their life.

Family is the first and perfect platform to develop character and grow a strong leader. #family #platform #character #strongleader

Shirley Solis, Tweet This

I know many people have a calling, but in the pursuit of that calling and success, they forget to do the diligent work to set the foundations to be a leader who is leading his/her family first, so TOGETHER AND AS A FAMILY they can lead others in their community.

The environment at work or church may be the perfect place to wear a mask and pretend things are great. But it is the spouse and children of that leader who will serve as the thermometer to determine if that leader is ready to lead others. Unless the entire family is ready and onboard, that leader is not ready.

My encouragement to prospective leaders is to use your family setting to build your true character and earn the right to call yourself a leader by proving you can lead your family. If you can lead a family, you can lead an organization, a community and a nation.

If you are a leader or potential leader (Speaker, Consultant, Coach, Author, CEO, Manager, Pastor, Artist), here are five main questions you can ask yourself to evaluate whether you are ready to lead others:


  1. Do you feel fulfilled in your family life?
  2. Do you share a connection with your spouse and children?
  3. Are your family members happy and supportive of your leadership role?
  4. If you asked your spouse and children if they feel you invest adequate time with them, what would they say?
  5. What is your idea of success and does that idea include your family? Are you in alignment to that?


If you answered “no” to any of the questions above, I would suggest your real work starts at home. Don’t wait until it’s too late to value your family. Now is the time to build a strong foundation you can be proud of.

Practically speaking, there are many leaders who are already in places of influence and their family may not be in a healthy state. In that case, I suggest you hire a Family Coach to help you get your family from surviving to thriving, so that as a family you can lead your community with purpose, passion and contribution, because it takes a family to change the world!

Shirley Solis is a Wife, Mother of 6, Speaker, Author and Family Solutions Coach. She helps leaders develop strong and intimate marriages, while raising powerful and amazing kids, so that as a family they can help their community and impact the world! She would like to help you develop a plan to get your family from surviving to thriving. To schedule a complimentary ($350 value) Powerful Family Coaching Session, CLICK HERE

Questions- Did you answer “no” to any of the questions above? What area of your family do you need to work on (child training, marriage, health, organization, time management)? Can you think of other reasons why leaders fail? Write your comments below and share your valuable thoughts!

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