Live Life With Flavor Challenge Day 18 – Pain in Marriage

Today is Day 18 of the Live Life with Flavor Challenge and Wild Marriage Wednesday!

Throughout this challenge I have wanted to share some of the things that contributed to the woman I am…

Like any budding friendship, topics start out fun and exciting. Then as people become more familiar, conversations of a more intimate nature are brought up… Today, I want to share something very personal with you…

About 5 years ago, I uncovered a painful secret. One that took Gus and I through the most agonizing season of our marriage!


Youtube Video Link Pain in Marriage


Commitment is the conscious decision to stick it out, even when we feel betrayed...(I didn't say it's easy)


Shirley Solis, Tweet This

Unbeknownst to me, my husband, the man who had stood by me and taught other couples how to have a healthy marriage, had an addiction to pornography since the age of 10…

And I had absolutely no idea!

Suddenly, emotions of wrath, frustration, betrayal and rage swept over me, as everything I thought I knew about the man beside me came tumbling down…

We had become so good at helping others to put their best foot forward for their marriages and their families, yet we had not done that for ourselves!

Instead of continuing down the path of distrust, wounds and pain, I had to make the conscious [AND EXTREMELY DIFFICULT] decision to be committed to my own healing even when I felt betrayed. In turn, Gus committed to his own healing and shared the parts of his life he had been too ashamed to talk about…

It was an extremely difficult process that continually pulled from a reservoir of hope we didn’t even realize was available! One of those reservoirs consisted of the amazing men and women we called friends.

With time and a lot of help, we worked through our communication, trust and intimacy barriers, fortifying our once shattered marriage.

Now as I look back, I realize that moment may have driven us to the point of breaking, but everything originally meant for evil, God used for good! And I am so exceedingly grateful!


There are major life lessons in the midst of wherever you are! Choose to Live Life with Flavor, pick beauty for ashes...


Shirley Solis, Tweet This

To be honest,all of the pain and frustration served toward getting us to where we are today! The intimacy and trust that Gus and I now share is more beautiful than anything I could have hoped for!

Maybe you had a wonderful marriage and everything has gone smoothly. You are so very blessed! Or perhaps, your marriage has been painfully lacking in intimacy and overflowing with chaos…

Regardless, there are major life lessons in the midst of wherever you are and if you find them, I guarantee those life lessons will help you bring out the Amazing Woman You Are! Choose to Live Life with Flavor, pick beauty for ashes and recognize today could be a new beginning for you and your spouse!

Note: Gus and I are available to help you walk through “cleaning up” any mess in your marriage, as well as help to make sure you have the “tightest” bonds ever. If you are interested, please email us at shirleyatshirleysolisdotcom.  Also, I HIGHLY consider you purchase the workshop titled “Intimacy in Marriage” here. I am sure it will prove to be very hopeful, besides it will give you so many practical lessons Gus and I learned. We wish you the best!

Question: Have you and your spouse gone through, or are going through, a difficult season? If you have, share what that looked like for you and how you came through it.

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